Why it is important to set boundaries
If we don't set boundaries for ourselves and the people around us, it can put an extreme strain on our emotional health and lead to exhaustion and, in the worst cases, burnout.
Boundaries indicate which behavior of others we accept and which behavior is not okay for us and burdens us. Since different people have different boundaries, your counterpart can never know where your personal boundaries lie. Therefore, it is even more important that you communicate them.
Healthy boundaries are not walls that create distance between you and the people you set them with. On the contrary, healthy boundaries are important for creating stable social relationships and harmony.
Many people hesitate to set their personal boundaries because they are afraid of the potential for conflict in this contest and expect rejection or rejection. However, even if your counterpart cannot understand your personal boundary in a certain area, he or she should accept it. If you do not set boundaries, you will only harm yourself and will be much less able to be there for others in this state. If a person's needs are really incompatible with your boundaries, the contact should unfortunately be terminated, because the incompatibility of needs will only harm both sides in the long run.
In most cases, however, those around us can understand our personal boundaries much better than we previously feared and are grateful that we communicate them clearly, giving them a stable framework for their behavior toward us.
In these areas, you should be careful to set your boundaries:
You should set healthy boundaries in all areas of your life: Be it among friends, within the family, in love relationships, with your children or at work.
Setting boundaries is one of the most important pillars for a healthy relationship. It doesn't matter if it's a friendly, family or romantic relationship. It is normal that boundaries are regularly crossed in relationships. It is precisely in these moments that it is important for you to learn to communicate your feelings and needs openly. You don't have to be afraid of hurting the other person. If you set a boundary that your counterpart did not know about before, it can be a little shock for your counterpart at the first moment that you feel uncomfortable with his/her behavior. In the long run, however, your counterpart will be grateful for it and your relationship will be strengthened, as you will also feel much more comfortable in the long run and at the same time encourage your counterpart to openly communicate his or her boundaries as well.
It is also very important to know and set your own limits on the job. For many people, it is part of everyday life to get a comprehensive task from the boss or colleagues shortly before closing time or despite a to-do list that is already far too long. Here it is important that you do not say "yes" to every task directly, but communicate when something becomes too much for you. Your colleagues do not know how much work you can and want to do. Sometimes they can't even estimate how much of your time their tasks take up.
Don't be afraid to say "no" to additional tasks.
Remember: It is not weakness if you can communicate your own needs. Instead, it shows strength and courage. A clear positioning will ultimately have a positive effect on the working atmosphere. In the long run, boundless helpfulness will only harm yourself and you will do your job much better and earn much more respect if you start to refuse additional tasks in a friendly and well-founded way.
Tips to help you set healthy boundaries
Many people often say "yes" to requests out of reflex and only realize afterwards that they would be reluctant to do the favor for their fellow human beings because it would exceed their personal limits. A promise is then difficult to take back again and the fear of disappointment of the counterpart is great.
One tip is to get into the habit of first telling your counterpart that you need to reconsider whether it suits you and that you will let them know again. This takes the pressure off yourself and allows you to reflect calmly on whether the task would exceed your personal limits.
People who find it difficult to set boundaries often feel the need to please everyone around them. You should get rid of this idea very quickly. Admit to yourself that you you can't do everything that other people expect of you, at least not without yourself falling by the wayside. Try to be aware of what you can realistically accomplish. If you have a concrete idea of this, it will be much easier for you to recognize what exceeds your personal limits and when you should clearly communicate your limits.
Setting healthy boundaries also has a lot to do with self-respect. You should be aware that you are the most important person in your life and that you deserve to put your well-being first. Only when you are at peace with yourself can you help others in a sustainable way. Therefore, prioritizing your own needs has nothing to do with selfishness.
After you have made yourself aware that you and your well-being are your highest priority, the next step is to identify your needs. You can sense what things make you feel uncomfortable or stressed. Learn to listen to your body, because it will tell you exactly what behavior of your fellow human beings is good for you and what you find unacceptable.
When you start setting and demanding your personal boundaries, you may become afraid of disappointing those around you, conflict with your desire to be a good friend, mother, daughter, or employee, or feel guilty if you ever say no.
In these moments, be aware that a demarcation is a sign of a healthy relationship at eye level and at the same time a sign of respect for yourself. Allow yourself to think about yourself in such situations and internalize that these moments strengthen the relationship in the long run instead of weakening it.
